come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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