You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
why do cheetos always look like penises
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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