he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
