You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
