I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
