just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
