You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
