Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
