I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
