he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
