youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
