Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
