I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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