no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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