also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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