haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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