Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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