pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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