Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
