Got a toothbrush?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
