do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
it was like his penis was on wheels.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
