ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
