finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Is it penis luge time yet?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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