we have officially lost it.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
