he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
