She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think your dad took our porno
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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