Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
