weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
