i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
