Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
