They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
