guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
