I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
