just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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