I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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