New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he was CRYING into my vagina
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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