they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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