Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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