Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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