Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My underwear smells like fireworks.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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