Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
