When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
