Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
