she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
