Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
