If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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