All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That accounts for only three of the penises
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
