Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
