i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
