ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she smelled like a LAN party
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
