I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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