Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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