If i come over, it means nothing
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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