I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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