I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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